So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize
