So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
