is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
