Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
