Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
she peed on how many people?
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Randomize
