some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
