I CAN MOONWALK!
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
