I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Randomize
