Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch