called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
39 Memes Anyone Who Cries When They See Their Bank Account Will Relate To
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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