He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.