i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Vodka?
Forever.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
