hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
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