i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
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