You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
