Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
