On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
