i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
