I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
