I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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