i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
