oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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