just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
