I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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