break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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