I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
