I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize