I think I just saw someone hide a body.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
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