Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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