Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
