I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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