Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
