we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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