Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
