Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
