drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
