True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
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