normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
You can't just leave with hair like that
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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