why didn't you poke me back
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
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I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
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All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
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