Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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