ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
