I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize
