hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
