That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
We talked him into tasing himself.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
