kristin has been a bad kristin
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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