I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
i need an iv and a liver transplant
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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