Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
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