Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
