just come out here and I will go home with you...
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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