And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Randomize