she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
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I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
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I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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