i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Alive.
So much puke
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
