I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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