If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize