I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Lo siento on account of my penis...
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize