I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
