i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
