i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
