Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Randomize
