But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
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