He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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