if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
