dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
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