Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
